After spending quite some time contemplating how I would introduce the first guest writer on my blog I gave up.  A pillar in my life, she is an amazing woman of God who is always encouraging me, and selflessly serving others.  Please enjoy this beautiful piece by Priscilla Jahanian — who also happens to be my sister.   

I’m not pregnant this month.

I found out this morning.

I thought maybe this would be the month…the month I got to tell my family and our friends we were having a baby. In my mind I let myself do what I rarely let myself do —

I daydreamed.

I daydreamed how I would tell some of you the news.  The news we’ve been waiting to hear for over seven years.

“I’m PREGNANT!”

But that’s not the news I’m going to be sharing today.

One day I will.  And I will cry.  And shout for joy.  And have a heart so full I won’t even be able to handle it.

It will be a glorious, unforgettable day.

And maybe that’s you, waiting for that one glorious day.  For that one day when you’ll have a spouse, healing, employment…

When you’ll have what you’ve been waiting for — that one glorious day.

And today, then?  What about today?  Where does that leave you today?  Where does that leave me?

Because this is the day we’re living.

And where does that leave us tomorrow?  What if it’s years before I get to share my news?  What then?  What happens between our now and then?

I can tell you what it’s looked like at different points in this journey for me.

Sadness.  Victory.  Disappointment.  Joy.  Bitterness.  Strength.  Tears.  Silent crying.

That moment when you are crying so hard and so deep…

Your mouth is open and nothing is coming out and you. are. just. broken.

And you finally get it out…

“Why?  Why God?”

Haven’t I waited long enough?  Haven’t I been patient enough?  Haven’t I been faithful enough?  Haven’t I trusted in Your timing enough?  Haven’t I submitted enough to what You have for me?  Haven’t I believed enough?

But then something happens inside me.  Because my God is so good.  He doesn’t leave me there.  Ever.

Oh, He has planted His Word and Truth in my heart and I cannot deny Him. And I remember…

His goodness.

That He has already given me Everything because He has given me Himself.

And everything else in this life is just a blessing —

And not necessary.

Because the day He shed His blood for me and rescued me, He gave me…

Everything.

Before Abraham held Isaac in his arms, God gave him Everything.

Genesis 15:1 “…the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, ‘Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.’ ”

God promised Abraham Isaac, but Isaac was not Abraham’s exceedingly great reward,

God was.

What your waiting for is not God’s exceedingly great reward.

God is your Reward.

And so today when I found out I wasn’t pregnant, I was disappointed.  But mostly today, I am thankful.

I am thankful for God’s goodness.  I am thankful that He loves me.  I’m so imperfect.  So undeserving.  But I have an Exceedingly Great Reward.

An Awesome, Perfect, Just, and Mighty Great Reward.

And so do you.

And that’s the news I want to share today and every day.

Psalm 118:15-17 “The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the Lord does valiantly.  The right hand of the Lord is exalted; The right hand of the Lord does valiantly.  I shall not die, but live, And declare the works of the Lord.”

Hi! My name is Priscilla Jahanian.  I live in Northern Virginia near Washington, DC with my husband of 10 years.  I had no idea this Arkansan-born, small town girl would ever live in a metro area!  Nor did I realize that I would be traveling internationally.  My husband and I are employed in the field of child welfare and are members of Capital Life Church in Arlington, VA.  We have had the privilege of participating in and leading various short-term mission trips, including several trips to West Africa.  I love the Lord, I love to laugh, and I love my family.  And if given a choice, this introvert would skip a party to have quality time and coffee with one or two close friends.